Married Sex: Finding an appropriate sex therapist and your experiences with them?
March 62010
Okay, I just asked the question :
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah6HDfqQKHHSQEJVl7PZGBQjzKIX?qid=20070501120451AAuXUis
… and it seems that my beautiful wife and I have a few sexual problems. Basically, her sex drive is nothing, and mine might be overly high.
I want to find a marriage / sex counselor for us, but since we are very religious, I don’t want to go to someone that’s going to tell us to watch porn or have extramarital affairs or other thing I have heard used as counseling techniques.
Is there such a thing as a …. “faith based”… sex counselor, or someone that will respect that there are certain sexual boundaries we will not cross, but still need help achieving what we are looking for? Or, is every modern sex therapist based in therapeutic techniques that I will not appreciate?
How do I find these types of therapists?
Have you ever been to a sex therapist?
How did it work for you?
I question the value of the therapist. If your wife has a low sex drive, and you have a high sex drive, what are you looking for at a therapist’s office? A magic pill for one of you to take? It doesn’t exist. Nothing is going to change unless you get your heads out of a bible…the answer is certainly not there. Nothing is going to happen unless you can discuss, openly and without fear of embarrassment, your needs, your fantasies (yes, religious folk are allow fantasy, regardles of where it leads) and can find out IF she is just turned off by what you do over and over. IF you are not open to finding fun things to do…yes, even religious folks can have fun with sex…then nothing is going to happen that is positive. IF a therapist is to be of any value, you both have to feel that you can speak your innermost feelings without fear of recrimination…and from what I have read above, I don’t think your wife is going to feel that way, considering your stance on religion. Good luck.
March 6th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Look into Dr.Phil’s CD collection on relationships, fix yourself first meaning herself also then come together and work it out. good luck.
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March 6th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
I question the value of the therapist. If your wife has a low sex drive, and you have a high sex drive, what are you looking for at a therapist’s office? A magic pill for one of you to take? It doesn’t exist. Nothing is going to change unless you get your heads out of a bible…the answer is certainly not there. Nothing is going to happen unless you can discuss, openly and without fear of embarrassment, your needs, your fantasies (yes, religious folk are allow fantasy, regardles of where it leads) and can find out IF she is just turned off by what you do over and over. IF you are not open to finding fun things to do…yes, even religious folks can have fun with sex…then nothing is going to happen that is positive. IF a therapist is to be of any value, you both have to feel that you can speak your innermost feelings without fear of recrimination…and from what I have read above, I don’t think your wife is going to feel that way, considering your stance on religion. Good luck.
References :
March 6th, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Oooh, I didn’t know you were religious. That makes things easier, as far as I’m concerned.
1 Corinthians 7: 3-5 gives a very clear statement about how spouses should treat each other. It is not prejudiced against men or women. It clearly states that each partner is responsible for taking care of the other’s sexual needs. The right of expecting monogamy is balanced by the responsibility of meeting the other’s needs. It is in fact a modern and secular idea that couples should only have sex if everyone happens to feel like it, whether or not they are married. The biblical view is that marriage is the only appropriate outlet for sexual desire, and that welcoming that desire is part of the responsibility of loving spouses.
Good luck
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