My heart is heavy, need honest opinion. Guys, please chip in with advice.?
February 282010
OK. On Sept. 1 I met a guy from Spain while vacationing with my friends in Mexico. There was instant chemistry. I had a boyfriend at the time, so all me and Mr. Spain did was talk. From that moment forward I have thought about him every day. And I mean every day. I have tried to forget about him and let it be, but I can’t. While in MX, we exchanged contact info and have been chatting via IM ever since, which is 4 & 1/2 months now. In Oct. I became single, which allowed me to explore the feelings I was having for Mr. Spain. However, how do you explore your feelings with someone who lives in another country? So instead I held my feelings in and continued to talk with him on IM as before. Then recently he proposed that the two of us go on holiday together. That was a very exciting moment for me. I talked with my travel agent, and she found me some good deals on all inclusive trips. I told Mr. Spain about the trips, and he said they sounded great but didn’t indicate anything further like, "Lets book it." It was two days ago that this happened. Then yesterday I wrote an email as if I was writing it to him that told him what I was feeling, that I thought about him a lot and that seeing him again might help me determine if what I am feeling is legit. I didn’t say those words, but that was the overall tone of the email. It was therapeutic (I am a writer at heart, so writing is therapy) to get it all out, but I didn’t hit send. As I was talking to him on IM yesterday evening I mentioned the email, and he asked me to send it. I said that I was scared, and he said never to be scared with him. So I sent it. He said he would read it while at work today. Well, he is now off work as it is almost 10pm in Spain. He has not signed in to IM nor has he emailed me back. I don’t know what to do! I allowed myself to be vulnerable, and now I am sitting here in agony wondering what he thought about what I said. It’s killing me. I just want him to say something about it, even if that something is, "No, I don’t think about you all the time and don’t really care if we see each other again." Yes, it would hurt, but at least I would know. I could then get over it and focus on guys that are here…like the one I am going on a date with tonight. We had our first date two days ago, and he is soooo sweet and funny and charming. But on my drive home I couldn’t get Mr. Spain out of my head. Until I know how he feels, it’s like I can’t give myself to someone else. I am just so afraid that if I didn’t make my feelings known and put effort into seeing Mr. Spain again then I would always wonder "what if." So because of that I don’t regret sending that email, but I’m still dying over here waiting to know what he’ll say or if he’ll ever talk to me again. Anyone have any advice?
Sending the email off to him was a good idea because if nothing else comes of it, a least you won’t have to wonder what if. This fantasy you have…this insatiable desire for him, it is preventing you from functioning as well as you could be in your real, here, now, and available world. Sure it hurts not hearing that he feels the same but it should no way keep you from moving forward (enjoying dating others). Get out your emotions about it and then move on. The whirlwind of emotions had swept you up and overtaken you; don’t let it take your common sense…and don’t let it make you miss out on something special that is waiting for you hear and now.
February 28th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
i ain’t going to read all off this 10 page unabomber manifesto
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February 28th, 2010 at 4:48 pm
yeah, turn the TV on and wait. or go shopping or something.
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February 28th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
be patient. haha i no its crazy. you’l get a reply soon. may be he’s busy. But yeah you,re so true dat feeling is just so crazy. i know i completly understand how it feels.
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February 28th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Sending the email off to him was a good idea because if nothing else comes of it, a least you won’t have to wonder what if. This fantasy you have…this insatiable desire for him, it is preventing you from functioning as well as you could be in your real, here, now, and available world. Sure it hurts not hearing that he feels the same but it should no way keep you from moving forward (enjoying dating others). Get out your emotions about it and then move on. The whirlwind of emotions had swept you up and overtaken you; don’t let it take your common sense…and don’t let it make you miss out on something special that is waiting for you hear and now.
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